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Adoption Interview Process
During the matching process, your goal is to be asked to interview with a Birth Parent. This can cause much anxiety not only for your family but for the Birth Parent as well. Birth Parents want you to like them just as much as you want them to like your family. There are a few points to keep in mind when your time comes for such an opportunity.
There are two types of Birth Parent interviews, one being phone and the other being face-to-face. During a phone interview, it is important to remember to have expression in your voice since the Birth Parent doesn’t have the benefit to see you in person. While the interview is in process, the professional or the birthparent may direct the questioning. Be sure you are aware of the policy of interviews with your specific provider. The Birth Parent already has a good idea of who you are from the photo resume that you have sent and the letter that you wrote to them. The interview is a chance for your individual personalities to shine. If you are a two-parent family, remember to that equal time for each partner to answer questions. One common mistake is to have one partner dominate the conversation. Phone interviews tend to last anywhere from ten to twenty minutes depending the flow of the conversation. You, as an adoptive family may have questions about the Birth Parent and their situation but generally they should be asked directly to the counselor before or after the interview. Questions that you ask should be limited to “casual conversation”. An example that we often use is to limit the types of questions that
you ask to those you would ask a “person you are sitting next to on the bus”. Empathy statements are appropriate but not questions about the Birth Father, prenatal care, ect. If you have questions about the appropriateness of a question, please ask the counselor before the interview.
Face-to-face interviews have a completely different feel. The interviews will often occur in a restaurant or other neutral location. The adoptive family is expected to pay for any food eaten during the interview for themselves, Birth Family, and counselor. During the process, it is important to be as comfortable and “friendly” as possible. As in a phone interview, the counselor will direct the questioning. One common mistake during this type of interview is when the counselor asks the questions, adoptive families tend to look at the counselor rather than the Birth Parent. The counselor is asking the Birth Parents behalf. The interview will last anywhere from twenty minutes to forty-five minutes depending on conversation flow. The same tips from phone interviewing discussed previously apply in face-to-face interviews.
After an interview, the Birth Parent may know right away which family they feel is best for placement or they may need an additional meeting in order to make a decision. Patience is important during this time. It is a very difficult decision for the birthparents and they need to be comfortable with their choice. Matching is the most important aspect of a successful adoption and it may take time for the right situation to find you.
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