Open Adoption

What is Open Adoption?

Open Adoption is one of the many options available to you if you are pregnant and looking to placing your baby for adoption, or if you are looking to adopt a child. This type of adoption is a unique relationship that a Birth Parent and Adoptive Family form when a child is placed. In this page and the following pages we will be discussing the facts about open adoption and the services we can provide to you as an open . There are numerous questions to ask yourself when deciding if an this type of adoption is best for you.

Can you be honest about the adoption?

Can you put the child's best interest before your own?

Can you respect all members involved in the open adoption?

If you are pregnant and giving up your child for adoption, can you respect all decisions made by the adoptive family without interfering?

If you are an adoptive family, can you respect the birth parents background and decisions that they have made?

In general, are you able to let go of any jealousy or feelings that you need to be in total control of every situation?

Are you willing to share the love of a child?

If you can answer each of these questions positively then an open adoption may be right for you. All About Adoption Consulting believes that this type of adoption is the best option for everyone involved in the adoption triad (adoptive parent, adopted child and birth mother). Through this type of adoption, the child is the center focus of the relationship. The process begins with the birth parents and the adoptive parents having a trusting relationship where information is exchanged and a relationship is developed from the beginning of the placement and continues throughout the life of the child. This is a unique partnership where everyone is connected through respect for one another and love for the child. Each individual has a unique role in the child's life that develops over time. Ongoing contact allows the birth parents to see that the child is doing well, is healthy, and happy. This knowledge offers them peace of mind in their decision for the baby. On-going contact can be through the program or handled between the families directly.

Our open adoption services help adoptive parents welcome the birth parents into their lives almost as extended family members. Interchanges between the parties allow the child to have direct access to the information they may desire as well as support from the birth family. This allows for healthy development of the child's identity and self-esteem. Research of open adoption information has shown that children raised in open adoptions have better overall adjustment and higher self-esteem than those raised in closed adoptions. Studies also show that children of open adoptions are reported to have fewer behavioral problems than children of closed adoptions. A national study found that a benefit of open adoption verses closed is that the adopted children have access to the information that they may want as they grow especially during adolescence. This is one of the many reasons we have chosen to be an open.

Throughout the process, All About Adoption Consulting can offer support and guidance to everyone involved in open adoption. Generally, when an adoptive family is educated about what open adoption means and how it can benefit the child, they are more likely to be open to the relationship. Some families who do not understand the meaning of open adoption report fears about having the birth parents as a part of their lives. At All About Adoption Consulting we try to educate the adoptive family by providing open adoption information and facts about what options they have so everyone involved can feel comfortable. In most cases, after an adoptive family interacts with a birth parent, they soon realize that their fears were unwarranted and actually have a higher level of satisfaction with their adoption.

Adoptive parents need to realize that no matter where or at what age you adopt a child, you will, as adoptive parents, need to deal with your child's birth family whether you know the birth family or not. The birth family is a part of who your child is, and will become. Open adoption allows you to know your child better by knowing his birth family.

Another common feeling that new adoptive parents state prior to education is that they are fearful that the birthmother will change her mind and try to come back for the baby in the future. In reality, birth parents are happy with their decision for placement because they can see that the baby is happy.

Open adoption is a life long process that grows and changes over time. Some adoptive families may initially fear that there will be no boundaries in the relationship and that the birth family will try to take on the parenting role. As supporters of "open" adoption we help the adoptive parents realize their comfort level in an agreement prior to the child's placement. It recognizes what everyone's roles will be in the child's life and if needed, mediation by professionals can be available throughout the child's life. This individualized plan also will offer adoption information and guidelines on the number of on-going visits as well as how often letters, pictures, emails, phone calls, etc, are to occur. Birth parents put a great deal of thought and planning into identifying an adoptive family for their child and they do not want to do anything to upset the plan that they have set for the child's life.

Some potential adoptive parents who do not understand open adoption may fear that open adoption will cause confusion for the child. If you think about your own life as a child, were you confused about whom your mother and father were when you were around a spoiling Aunt or loving Grandmother? Those individuals have a biological connection to you but there was never a time that you thought they were your parents. Your "real" parents are the people who are with you day in and day out, pick you up when you fall, sit with you when your sick, and support you on a daily basis. In an open adoption, the birthmother's role is to support the adoptive parents as the child's parents. The birthmother does not compete with the adoptive parents. The roles of adoptive parents and birth parents are very clearly defined simply by the nature and dynamic of everyday life.

As the child grows older, the roles of the adoptive family and birth parents will change. Some adoptive families fear that the child will want to go and live with the birth family. This is unlikely to happen when children know their birthparents.

They have no unrealistic fantasies about their birthparents. Children of open adoption bond with their adoptive parents just as strongly as children who are raised by their biological parents. In an open adoption, the child will always have a relationship with the birth family and have honest and realistic understanding of them.

The Open Adoption Education at All About Adoption Consulting

This matching process enables us to present adoptive families who possess the qualities the birth mother most wants for the baby. Birthparents can request what is the most important to them in a family and should never compromise on what they want for their child. All About Adoption Consulting open will conduct an extensive search and detailed adoption information for potential adoptive families so the birth parent can feel comfortable with their final choice.

Are you pregnant and looking for more information about open adoption?

An adoptive family prepares a photo resume that includes the important aspects of their life. Each family writes a personal letter to the birth parent addressing the information requested of them. The birthparents then have the chance to view as many profiles as needed to find those few families they may have a connection with. Birth parents often state that they knew right away which family was meant for their child as soon as they saw it. Birth parents are able to interview the potential adoptive families either over the phone or in-person. All About Adoption Consulting will help facilitate the contact until all parties are comfortable and get to know each other better.

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Once a family is identified, a birth plan will be put in place at the hospital where the birthmother plans to deliver. This plan may include the adoptive family's presence at the hospital depending on the birth family's comfort level. Most birth families will invite the adoptive family to spend time with the baby during the hospital stay prior to placement.

Prior to voluntarily placing a child for adoption, a birth parent must wait a designated period of time. An adoption in Ohio, for example, a parent must wait at least 72 hours after the birth of the child to sign the permanent surrender. This is an emotional experience for both the birth parents and adoptive family. This is a time when their relationship becomes solidified. It is the beginning of a new chapter in the lives of both families. Continued contact will be guided by the plan that was formulated prior to placement. Both parties enter with the understanding that flexibility will be needed as time passes, as the relationship and deeper trust is established, and as the child grows older.

If open adoption is something you want to consider, please call All About Adoption Consulting and speak with a counselor to explore this option and we can provide you with all the adoption information necessary. An adoption plan is what the birth and adoptive families make it. It is fluid and always changing.

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